i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize