i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Panties = found
Randomize
