I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
