You can't motorboat a personality
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
