I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize