if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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