I like to think it a success when the cops are called
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
