I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
