I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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