today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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