return my video game
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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