Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
