You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
