I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
you made out with another girl for some wings
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize