You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
