I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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