how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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