Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
