Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
