Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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