the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
