I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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