Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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