like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
