So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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