why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
