guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
as a side note pls kill me
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
