I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
