dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
