So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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