Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
There r osticjed everywhere
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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