i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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