some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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