in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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