What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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