I can't breathe out the right side of my face
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I wish i was in the wii world.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
