Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
