Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
