I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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