I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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