I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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