Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize