I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
