So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
