Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Is it because I queefed?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
