I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize