it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
