I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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