Farmville is her only friend.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
