I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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