Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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