we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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