you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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