I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Bring me that man meat
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
