sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
