Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
