Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
