where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She told me I should be a condom model.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize