You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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