Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
im on a boat
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